Waiting Sucks.

I’ve been accused of being a lot of things, but being patient ain’t one of ‘em.

I FRIGGIN’ HATE WAITING! Waiting for the green light. Waiting for my massage therapist to arrive. Waiting for Emma to finish getting ready for school. Waiting for direct deposit to hit. Waiting for articles to be accepted. Waiting for interviews to get published. Waiting for important emails. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting…

My pathological aversion to limbo has hindered my experience of this crazy, kooky thing called life. Instead of relaxing into the unknown, I twiddle my fingers, gnaw on my lower lip, and otherwise flit around like a squirrel playing with his nuts; I impatiently wait, wait, wait, for the f@#king thing to happen already.

Oh, how I envy those laid-back people that can easily slip into ‘Whatever!” mode. I am quite certain that I am missing the Whatever gene. On one hand, nothing in my world can happen fast enough; on the other hand, I sometimes get overwhelmed with the speed in which my life is expanding and changing. I want desperately to adopt the attitude of one of my favorite iTunes Playlists: I want to learn how to Chillax. Unfortunately, the state of chillaxation has heretofore eluded me.

The best I can do during my squirrelly moments is to remember that the future is uncertain. I don’t know what the day will bring, much less the rest of my life. I could have a cerebral hemorrhage as I write this. Maybe an idiot driver on I-75 could be my undoing this afternoon. There are endless ways I could meet my end, and it could happen at any moment. When I think about the fragility and impermanence of this physical journey, I stop fretting so much about my audiobook launch, press releases, speaking engagements, and video blogs. They simply aren’t as important as this moment. How blessed I am!

Gotta go now. More emails are coming in.

Finally.