Tuesday, December 23, 2008

ODing on Xmas Rodents

Remember "The Chipmunk Song" by Alvin and the Chipmunks? It used to be my favorite Christmas Song. Note the phrase "used to be".

My daughter Emma, like her mother and father, loves to listen to music. She has oodles of songs and several audiobooks downloaded on her trusty iPod (I know, I know: a seven year-old with an iPod?! She got mine when I got an iPhone last year, all right?) Her musical tastes run the gamut from the sublime (Snatam Kaur, Queen, and Jason Mraz) to the ridiculous (Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers and the incredibly adorable manboy from High School Musical). Michael and I often endure, er, enjoy the songs Emma chooses to play, as she is fond of listening to her iPod through her karaoke speaker (I know, I know: a seven year-old with a karaoke machine?! She's a great kid who loves to belt out tunes in front of her mirror. THAT'S my justification.) Most times we can tolerate it, as more often than not she selects songs that are aurally palatable for us grown-ups.

That is, until Alvin and his f@#king friends showed up this season.

Don't get me wrong, the classic chipmunk tune was cute the first 100 times I heard it. But now, as she relentlessly plays it on Repeat over and over and over and over and over and over again, I am about ready to rip my friggin' hair out. I get the fact that Christmas shouldn't be late!!! I understand that it's a time for cheer!!!! I KNOW that Alvin still wants a hula hoop, dammit!!!!!! Maybe Emma is deliberately trying to torture me as restitution for some past parental indiscretion. Was it the eggplant I forced her to eat two nights ago? Is she rebelling against our "No TV" policy? Or is it an elaborate comeuppance for the many times I barked, "Because I said so!" in response to her numerous questioning of "Why?"

Whatever the case, I am sitting here listening to that God-awful song running through my gray matter ad nauseum. Why? Why haven't I stormed into her room shouting, "Turn that thing off already!" Why on Earth am I allowing myself to succumb to such cruelty?

Simple. Because I love her.

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