Tuesday, April 26, 2011

How Do I Start Up Again?

Hi. This is Theresa Rose. Remember me? This is a big shout-out for you 13 beautiful souls who actually subscribed to my blog a thousand years ago. Now, let's get on to business.

I am going through some major changes in my life, and I am acutely aware of my need for journaling as a form of therapy and healing. Resuming a regular writing practice has been dancing around the periphery, but LogicGirl kicks in and says, "No! You're too busy! You gotta make those calls, send those emails, blah blah blah!" Yet, writing finds its way back into my heart. I have been living vicariously through Jason Mraz's blog. The man is a certifiable genius. I caught up on several of his blogs (since I hadn't given myself time to enjoy them - Enjoy life?! What, are you crazy?) and felt pangs of jealousy swoop into my noggin as I watched him take opening the kimono to a whole different place. (Insert tired-ass, type-A need to edit what I've written so far but am plowing through anyway because it's a blog, dammit, and I can be messy if I wanna.)

Folks, this is what happens when a writer doesn't give herself permission to write. She goes insane on the very first paragraph. Well, you can count yourself lucky that you (if you are even reading this and haven't thrown me into Junk by now) are one of a baker's dozen of like-minded individuals enjoying the bits-and-bytes bonding with a raving ninny.

Because that is what this blog is about to turn into.

I want to write about our struggles and the fears, but I also want to write about the victories and moments of Grace. I hope I can look beyond my fear of "what will they say about me?" and "will this negatively impact my chances for new business?" and just plow ahead. Is this the moment where I finally step into the 'integrity' I talk so much about? Can I finally accept that I am a spiritual teacher, and TRUST? Is it OK to talk about Spirit?

I'm sorry if this is rambling. Many of my posts may be. But here is what I'm thinking...if I just go into my heart and type my truth, then everything will work out the way it needs to. I do trust that I can share what I need to, and there will be no judgment - from God, from strangers, from friends and family, from clients and prospects, from me. Well, at least I can control the last one.

I will not judge myself.

I will not judge myself.

I will not judge myself.

I will not judge myself.

Maybe if I continue to write it a la Bart that it will get in there. It's getting better.

That's it for now. I'm glad I returned, and thank you. May your day be filled with tons of love.