Thursday, January 15, 2009

Lights, Camera, Action

I've decided to make a movie. A five minute one.

I am currently in the production phase of creating the Opening the Kimono book trailer. Several nights ago, I received the storyboard while dreaming, and yesterday I filmed the two live action shots (Shout-out to my tough-as-nails director, Jean, a.k.a. Sophia!). I now have to gather the still photos, choose the soundtrack, write the titles, and put the whole thing together in iMovie. Since I have made my YouTube videoblogs for the last year or so, making the movie isn't the daunting part.

It's putting my "fat" pictures in it.

In the film I will be providing a brief description of Kimono, showing personal pics that coordinate with each section. For example, in the "Love & Sex" section, there will be the wedding photo of Michael and me. In the "Raising Kids" section, a precious one of The Bean and me will be included. In the "Death" section, there will be a very touching picture (and the last one we took together) of Mom and me. And since I discuss my lifelong struggle with weight in the "My Body" section, I'm gonna use a pic where I am a porker.

If I can find one.

Unfortunately, during the height (or width) of my obesity -- when I tipped the scales at over a deuce -- I went on several rampages and ripped up any pictures that made me look like a house, which were most of them. Sadly, I have very few pictures of me growing up, because most of them got angrily destroyed in multiple fits of bubbling self-hatred. The scant snapshots that remain are of me when I am at a somewhat "normal" weight (like I am now), or slightly heavy (like I am now!). The real Dumbo pics are nowhere to be found.

Still, I have not given up hope. I am confident that there are a few cringe-worthy photos buried in a neglected photo album somewhere. I think Emma has one or two in her baby book. (Eeesh! Post-baby flab. That'll be pretty.)

I find it ironic that, after twenty-five years of artfully dodging the camera, I am now frantically trying to find those same photos that caused me so much pain. Not only am I trying to find them, but I am going to include them in my book trailer for all to see.

Yes, Virginia, I've come a long way, baby.


For your consideration and/or comment:

What kind of reaction do you have when you see photographs of yourself?


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Dot-Com said...

Good luck, and let us know when you finish your work :-)

For consideration...
What kind of reaction do you have when you see photographs of yourself? I generally don't mind now, but if I go back in time I had the opposite problem of what you describe... which was actually just as bad!

seriously? said...

I LOVE that you ask questions!!! Love it, love it, LOVE IT!!! It depends on when the pictures were taken for my reaction to seeing them. Childhood pictures usually receive an "awww". Adolescence receives an "ewww". Do I need to remind you of the god awful glasses? Jr. High through beginning of college was just GIANT hair...I can't get past that. Now a days, if my family is in the picture...they usually get a smile. If I am by myself in the picture...I sure hope I am wearing my fabulous jeans. :)