Typecasting

In another life, I would have wanted to be the next Meryl Streep. Alas, I chose to be a writer and speaker instead. However, whenever I am given the chance to act on stage, I jump at it. Even if I have to swallow a heaping dose of humble pie to do so.

I am blessed to live in Sarasota, Florida, which has established itself as quite a little film town. For eleven years, the Sarasota Film Festival has grown in clout, offerings, and celebrity sightings. (Last year, the unrequited love of my life, Edward Norton, was in town. Oh Edward, I love you so.) This year, the film festival is sponsoring YouthFest, a forum in which budding young filmmakers can hone their craft and get their work seen in public.

This is where I come in...

A few weeks ago, I got an email from Pam, the director of a theatre production I did last year called "Got a Minute". Pam told me she was directing the Youth Screenwriters Live performances for YouthFest and asked me if I would like to do a series of film script readings. Normally, I am not able to commit to doing a full-scale theatre production, as the time needed for rehearsals and performances is just too much for me right now. (I love spending time with Hub and the Bean more than I love being on stage. And that's A LOT.) However, Pam assured me that I'd only need a weekend for rehearsals, and the readings would take place on Sunday night in front of Whole Foods and Monday night at the Florida Studio Theatre.

I think it took me approximately 4 milliseconds before I replied "YES!!" and hit the Send button.

The other day, I got to read the scripts that I'll be performing with the other local actors involved. These scenes were written by high school kids, and they are really impressive. These young'uns have talent, but more importantly, they have guts. They courageously wrote personal stories of pain, emotional trauma, and growth (something I know a little bit about). I'm proud to be associated with this program and am looking forward to another opportunity to be on stage. Then I thought, what sort of juicy roles do I get to read?

Here's my list of characters:

Mrs. Bloom (the obnoxious, trauma-inducing teacher)
Julia's Mom
Dexy's Mom
Emma's Mom (hey, I know how to do that!)
Mom
Dr. Roxanne Shelly (the affable principal)

So, what did I glean from this list of characters I'll be playing this weekend? I've been typecast! I'm the mom. I'm the teacher. I'm the supporting role.

Oh jeez. Can you imagine how friggin' ANCIENT I felt when I read this? It's as if all of my sexy sass was instantaneously sucked from my body and replaced with a hand-knit cardigan sweater with jewel-toned appliques. Ugh. It made me want to put on my halter top, jam Justin, and break out the hoop. I can't be THAT friggin' frumpy, can I?

Then I remembered. I'm an actress, dammit! I can PLAY the curmudgeonly teacher, the wimpy mom, and the sweet little principal. I'll give it my all, Meryl-style. Those kids deserve to see their stories come to life the way they saw them in their heads when they wrote those first tentative words.

But, mark my words: when the performances are over, I'll do my husband better and badder than ever before. There may even be some extra-special treats in store for Mr. Rose on Monday night.

Suck on that, Mrs. Bloom.

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For your consideration and/or comment:

If you were in a show, what would you be typecast as?

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